Showing posts with label feelings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label feelings. Show all posts

Friday, December 10, 2010

Acceptance.Happiness.

let me just start by saying, i'm truly the happiest right now that i've been in my entire life. never before have i felt that i finally know what/who i am, i know how to identify my feelings, and i know what i deserve....i know i'm not all the way where i need or want to be, but it's so close i can feel it!!! i just want 2011 to get here!! it's kind of crazy how life works out...now i don't believe in coincidences. i believe that everything happens when it's supposed to happen, or i guess i should say when our heavenly father wants it to happen. it's weird how we get answers to prayers, but so great when we recognize them as what they are, which are answers....in better words, life seems way too good to be true right now, and i have a hard time accepting that that's what i deserve...but it is the best.scariest.happiest.thrilling feeling to have, and i truly have never been happier....

now i want to share something that the wonderful Jenny Morrow gave me that i just love and really can't get enough of her and her incredible being. she is truly one of the most quality people i've ever met, which shouldn't surprise me seeing as Jules is her sister, but it's just so amazing to me how inspiring these two can be!

btw, Jules cd release was on Friday, {preview here} and it's been in my cd player in my car since the day i got it. i am so proud of you Jules and really so happy for you....i know that you have worked so hard and are so exhausted, but gear up for your future because i can tell you this is just the beginning...

now for some words from a book given to me by Jenny....

Recognition is the first principle of transformation. When we are stuck in our life, we must begin with the willingness to see what is so. It is as if someone were to ask us gently, "Hey, what is really happening now?" Do we reply brusquely, "Nothing?" Or do we pause and acknowledge the reality of our experience, here and now?

With recognition we step out of denial. Denial undermines our freedom. The diabetic who denies his body's illnesses is not free. Neither is the driven, stressed-out executive who denies the cost of her lifestyle or the self-critical would-be painter who denies his love of making art. The society that denies its poverty and injustice has lost a part of its freedom as well. If we deny out dissatisfaction, our anger, our pain, our ambition, we will suffer. If we deny our values, our beliefs, our longings, or our goodness, we will suffer.

There is a powerful opening that comes whenever we truly recognize what is so. "The emergence and blossoming of understanding, love, and intelligence has nothing to do with any outer tradition. It happens completely on it's own when a human being questions, wonders, listens, and looks without getting stuck in fear. When self-concern is quiet, in abeyance, heaven and earth are open."

With recognition our awareness becomes like the dignified host. We name and inwardly bow to our experience: "Ah, sorrow; and now excitement; hmmm, yes, conflict, and yes, tension; oh, now pain, yes, and now, ah, the judging mind." Recognition moves us from delusion and ignorance toward freedom. "We can light a lamp in the darkness," says Buddha.

We can see what is so.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

CTM


yeah it's tough
most girls would have been crushed
wasting their time, wondering where they went wrong
no way, not me, i'm doing just fine

it's easy
going out on friday nights
it's easy every time i see him out
i can smile, live it up the way a single {girl} does
what he doesn't know
is how hard it is to make it look so easy

the truth is
i miss lying in those arms of his
but i don't ever let it show
i laugh and act like i'm having the time of my life
as far as he knows

it's easy

what he doesn't know

is how hard it is to make it look so easy


"sometimes we are forced in directions we ought to have found ourselves...what we do does not define who we are. what defines us, is how well we rise after falling."

missing you, it comes and goes in waves

but what is constant
is wanting to be with you

no one else but you...

Thursday, November 11, 2010

i.love.my.mariah

what should be an extremely hard week has been an exceptionally good week...there's definitely a lot of different people to thank for that especially my heavenly father and the constant companion he is. but i do have to thank mariah. she's not only my sister, but most literally one of my 6 eternal best friends who is truly there for me whenever i need her. i love her and i love all my family for that matter!

i had not only one but two conversations on the phone with dana this week which was a nice change of pace and made me so excited for her to come home. she's such an inspiration and it was so fun to hear her voice and all of her stories. plus, she's a great listener which is what i needed. she's coming home in less than two weeks too!!!! yay!

constance, jory, jules, katrina, breck, curtis, becca....just to name a few more who deserve special thanks you's...

also i have to thank someone else, but i'm not sure if i'm ready for this person to make their debut on my blog just yet, but this person has been so great and understanding and patient and more than i could ever deserve or ask for and all the above...

for all these things {people}, i'm grateful!

let me leave you with this...

"for a kiss to be really good, you want it to mean something. you want it to be with someone you can't get out of your head, so that when your lips finally touch you feel it everywhere. a kiss so hot and so deep you never want to come up for air... when you find that right person for a first kiss, it's everything."

- grey's anatomy-