Thursday, October 14, 2010

identify your coping mechanisms....{jenny morrow}


a coping mechanism is a strategy used to deal with suffering, discomfort, fear, abandonment, and pain. they are natural, "mortal" responses (fight, flight, & freeze responses) created in out childhood for emotional (& sometimes physical) survival. if they were not created by and used by a child, the child would be overwhelmed. a coping mechanism is a way to construct boundaries to protect the personality.

the problem is that most of us continue these coping mechanisms into adult life, which then continues an erroneous pattern of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that are use whenever the person is in discomfort (their perception of being physically or emotionally unsafe). the result is that the situation or problem creating the discomfort is not evaluated as an adult but is reacted to through historical (child) thinking. the person reacts to a situation as if it is the same unsafe situation it was in childhood. ["i am afraid of men."] the true event is lost in the coping mechanism reactivity which re-enforces the feelings of fear even when the situation is safe. the focus then is upon the doing of the mechanism to stay safe. this prevents taking in new information, awareness, and feelings that would provide the ingredients to a rational response.

the following reflects many of the common coping mechanisms carried over from childhood by adults (or created later in life in response to emotional overwhelm that is still viewed from helpless, childlike perspective).

deny having a problem.WITHDRAWAL.rationalizing.FORGETTING.sleeping a lot.CREATING CHAOS.hiding behind partner.OUT-OF-BODY.not sleeping.REPEATING ABUSE.avoiding men.DEPRESSION.avoid discussing abuse.ANXIETY ATTACKS.feeling guilty.BLAMING SELF.blaming others.NEGATIVE SELF-TALK.victim of life.DISTRUST OTHERS.physical problems.OVEREATING.under-eating.ANGRY OFTEN.crying inappropriately.ACT CONFUSED OR DUMB.substance abuse.PASSIVE BEHAVIOR.underachieving.OVERACHIEVING.dissociating.TRANCE.self-mutilation.HYPER-VIGILANCE/EASY TO STARTLE.overspending.HOARDING.suicidal thoughts.PROMISCUOUS.act out violently.OVER-EXERCISING.take what is said or done personally.STAYING BUSY TO AVOID FEELING & THINKING.need to be in a relationship to feel okay.UNABLE TO DEFINE WHAT I NEED OR WANT.rigid and controlling behaviors-coercion, advice giving, manipulation, acting helpless.IGNORE PROBLEMS OR PRETEND THEY AREN'T HAPPENING-DENIAL OF IMPACT, EFFECT, OR IMPORTANCE.will not set boundaries in relationships to insure my rights are respected.SEXUAL ISSUES IN MARRIAGE.staying in unhealthy or abusive relationships

-Jenny Morrow/Licensed
Individual, Marital, Family, & Group Therapist

she's really such an amazing person and everything she says to me or talks to me about, i am continually amazed with how right on she is! i love her and i love seeing her.....well on a totally different note....
a vintage poster has quickly turned into a fav of mine. i ordered and received this poster below, but of course in the {butter.yellow} color...i think it will be perfect for right over my crafting desk.station.corner!


another thing that i have been loving so much is this sign that i made that goes above my bed...i got the idea from blogger 'julie parker photography' who got her idea from blogger amy at 'sweet sweet life'...

this one above is amy's...

this one above is julie's...


and these above are of mine....taken via blackberry and in awful lighting, but i'm in LOVE with it!!! it puts me in the best mood every time i go into my bedroom....

all of this room modifying has come from lil' mariah who has been obsessing literally over getting to move into dana's bedroom and decorate it just how she wants. luckily, i had a night off of school last week so we went shopping...we started off with a few baked goods from kneaders, headed to ikea, and of course ended up at a shoe store....i love her though...definitely my best friend, well one of them at least...



no we didn't buy those hats, but we definitely should have....

Monday, October 11, 2010

The Little Blue House is FOR RENT! now if only i could afford it...






this could most literally be my dream california house. one of the blogger's i follow, aka rachel thurston photography, has been living here since i started to follow her blog. it really is the ideal california house and really would be a dream come true to be able to live here or somewhere very similar. gosh, if only i were done with school, making tons of money, and could just pack myself up and move and be so incredibly happy....if only, right?! well i might as well put some information about it just in case anyone else is looking for their dream house in california...

however, as good fortune might have it, i could be very possibly going out to california this weekend, something i've been longing to do before the year is thru. maybe i'll be able to convince my travel partner to drive into this cute little neighborhood and take a look...but i do have to say, even the mere thought of being able to go to cali if only for a couple days has made me the happiest i've been in a long time...

man, i need to graduate fast!

  • Walking distance to downtown Culver City, with w movie theaters, trader joes, a farmers market every Tuesday, a lot of great restaurants including Fords Filling Station and Tender Greens.
  • Jackson Market literally next store for deli sandwiches and a stick of butter when you’re in a bind.
  • Right around the corner from Carlson Park.
  • Right next to Sony Studios.

The house is the perfect size for 1 person and fine for 2 people if you enjoy being with each other.

Only 1 bdrm, 1 bath. A whopping 520sq feet.

It has a huge backyard, front yard and a detached garage for storage. Plus a driveway that can park 4-5 cars.

The rent is month to month and is only $1250. For this neighborhood it is a steal.

It is available starting Nov 1st.

Address: 4055 Jackson Ave. Culver City, CA 90232

Please email rachel if you are interested and she can put you in touch with the landlord. rachel@rachelthurston.com.

It is such a great spot and they wanted to give their friends firsts dibs. Pass the word around!!