Thursday, December 30, 2010

stuck like glue {the beginning...}

if you can believe it, these are only a few pictures from our lives growing up together, and these don't even go back to the very beginning...but this gives you a lil 'idea of how much we truly love one another and how much we always will...









now this is what i call the best christmas ever!













now i know this will seem like this happened faster than anyone could even blink really, well that's because it did. if you asked me two months ago if i ever thought i would even be able to have a decent conversation with this person, let alone fall back in love and be engaged, i would've sworn up and down no way.....but God does have a plan for us, and i in fact do NOT believe in coincidences. everything happens the exact way it's supposed to as long as you are in tune and follow those little promptings that until later, you don't even realize were actually promptings from a much greater power than we could ever fathom....

i love you chris....and i know that we will have our own share of struggles, but everyday i'm with you is better than the day before....and i find the most comfort in knowing that with every day getting better and better, that the last day of our lives, will truly be the best day of our lives....

happy 2011!!!

Friday, December 10, 2010

Acceptance.Happiness.

let me just start by saying, i'm truly the happiest right now that i've been in my entire life. never before have i felt that i finally know what/who i am, i know how to identify my feelings, and i know what i deserve....i know i'm not all the way where i need or want to be, but it's so close i can feel it!!! i just want 2011 to get here!! it's kind of crazy how life works out...now i don't believe in coincidences. i believe that everything happens when it's supposed to happen, or i guess i should say when our heavenly father wants it to happen. it's weird how we get answers to prayers, but so great when we recognize them as what they are, which are answers....in better words, life seems way too good to be true right now, and i have a hard time accepting that that's what i deserve...but it is the best.scariest.happiest.thrilling feeling to have, and i truly have never been happier....

now i want to share something that the wonderful Jenny Morrow gave me that i just love and really can't get enough of her and her incredible being. she is truly one of the most quality people i've ever met, which shouldn't surprise me seeing as Jules is her sister, but it's just so amazing to me how inspiring these two can be!

btw, Jules cd release was on Friday, {preview here} and it's been in my cd player in my car since the day i got it. i am so proud of you Jules and really so happy for you....i know that you have worked so hard and are so exhausted, but gear up for your future because i can tell you this is just the beginning...

now for some words from a book given to me by Jenny....

Recognition is the first principle of transformation. When we are stuck in our life, we must begin with the willingness to see what is so. It is as if someone were to ask us gently, "Hey, what is really happening now?" Do we reply brusquely, "Nothing?" Or do we pause and acknowledge the reality of our experience, here and now?

With recognition we step out of denial. Denial undermines our freedom. The diabetic who denies his body's illnesses is not free. Neither is the driven, stressed-out executive who denies the cost of her lifestyle or the self-critical would-be painter who denies his love of making art. The society that denies its poverty and injustice has lost a part of its freedom as well. If we deny out dissatisfaction, our anger, our pain, our ambition, we will suffer. If we deny our values, our beliefs, our longings, or our goodness, we will suffer.

There is a powerful opening that comes whenever we truly recognize what is so. "The emergence and blossoming of understanding, love, and intelligence has nothing to do with any outer tradition. It happens completely on it's own when a human being questions, wonders, listens, and looks without getting stuck in fear. When self-concern is quiet, in abeyance, heaven and earth are open."

With recognition our awareness becomes like the dignified host. We name and inwardly bow to our experience: "Ah, sorrow; and now excitement; hmmm, yes, conflict, and yes, tension; oh, now pain, yes, and now, ah, the judging mind." Recognition moves us from delusion and ignorance toward freedom. "We can light a lamp in the darkness," says Buddha.

We can see what is so.