identify your coping mechanisms....{jenny morrow}

a coping mechanism is a strategy used to deal with suffering, discomfort, fear, abandonment, and pain. they are natural, "mortal" responses (fight, flight, & freeze responses) created in out childhood for emotional (& sometimes physical) survival. if they were not created by and used by a child, the child would be overwhelmed. a coping mechanism is a way to construct boundaries to protect the personality.

the problem is that most of us continue these coping mechanisms into adult life, which then continues an erroneous pattern of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that are use whenever the person is in discomfort (their perception of being physically or emotionally unsafe). the result is that the situation or problem creating the discomfort is not evaluated as an adult but is reacted to through historical (child) thinking. the person reacts to a situation as if it is the same unsafe situation it was in childhood. ["i am afraid of men."] the true event is lost in the coping mechanism reactivity which re-enforces the feelings of fear even when the situation is safe. the focus then is upon the doing of the mechanism to stay safe. this prevents taking in new information, awareness, and feelings that would provide the ingredients to a rational response.

the following reflects many of the common coping mechanisms carried over from childhood by adults (or created later in life in response to emotional overwhelm that is still viewed from helpless, childlike perspective).

deny having a problem.WITHDRAWAL.rationalizing.FORGETTING.sleeping a lot.CREATING CHAOS.hiding behind partner.OUT-OF-BODY.not sleeping.REPEATING ABUSE.avoiding men.DEPRESSION.avoid discussing abuse.ANXIETY ATTACKS.feeling guilty.BLAMING SELF.blaming others.NEGATIVE SELF-TALK.victim of life.DISTRUST OTHERS.physical problems.OVEREATING.under-eating.ANGRY OFTEN.crying inappropriately.ACT CONFUSED OR DUMB.substance abuse.PASSIVE BEHAVIOR.underachieving.OVERACHIEVING.dissociating.TRANCE.self-mutilation.HYPER-VIGILANCE/EASY TO STARTLE.overspending.HOARDING.suicidal thoughts.PROMISCUOUS.act out violently.OVER-EXERCISING.take what is said or done personally.STAYING BUSY TO AVOID FEELING & THINKING.need to be in a relationship to feel okay.UNABLE TO DEFINE WHAT I NEED OR WANT.rigid and controlling behaviors-coercion, advice giving, manipulation, acting helpless.IGNORE PROBLEMS OR PRETEND THEY AREN'T HAPPENING-DENIAL OF IMPACT, EFFECT, OR IMPORTANCE.will not set boundaries in relationships to insure my rights are respected.SEXUAL ISSUES IN MARRIAGE.staying in unhealthy or abusive relationships

-Jenny Morrow/Licensed Individual, Marital, Family, & Group Therapist

she's really such an amazing person and everything she says to me or talks to me about, i am continually amazed with how right on she is! i love her and i love seeing her.....well on a totally different note....

a vintage poster has quickly turned into a fav of mine. i ordered and received this poster below, but of course in the {butter.yellow} color...i think it will be perfect for right over my crafting desk.station.corner!

another thing that i have been loving so much is this sign that i made that goes above my bed...i got the idea from blogger 'julie parker photography' who got her idea from blogger amy at 'sweet sweet life'...

this one above is amy's...

this one above is julie's...


and these above are of mine....taken via blackberry and in awful lighting, but i'm in LOVE with it!!! it puts me in the best mood every time i go into my bedroom....

all of this room modifying has come from lil' mariah who has been obsessing literally over getting to move into dana's bedroom and decorate it just how she wants. luckily, i had a night off of school last week so we went shopping...we started off with a few baked goods from kneaders, headed to ikea, and of course ended up at a shoe store....i love her though...definitely my best friend, well one of them at least...



no we didn't buy those hats, but we definitely should have....

The Little Blue House is FOR RENT! now if only i could afford it...

this could most literally be my dream california house. one of the blogger's i follow, aka rachel thurston photography, has been living here since i started to follow her blog. it really is the ideal california house and really would be a dream come true to be able to live here or somewhere very similar. gosh, if only i were done with school, making tons of money, and could just pack myself up and move and be so incredibly happy....if only, right?! well i might as well put some information about it just in case anyone else is looking for their dream house in california...

however, as good fortune might have it, i could be very possibly going out to california this weekend, something i've been longing to do before the year is thru. maybe i'll be able to convince my travel partner to drive into this cute little neighborhood and take a look...but i do have to say, even the mere thought of being able to go to cali if only for a couple days has made me the happiest i've been in a long time...

man, i need to graduate fast!

• Walking distance to downtown Culver City, with w movie theaters, trader joes, a farmers market every Tuesday, a lot of great restaurants including Fords Filling Station and Tender Greens.
• Jackson Market literally next store for deli sandwiches and a stick of butter when you’re in a bind.
• Right around the corner from Carlson Park.
• Right next to Sony Studios.

The house is the perfect size for 1 person and fine for 2 people if you enjoy being with each other.

Only 1 bdrm, 1 bath. A whopping 520sq feet.

It has a huge backyard, front yard and a detached garage for storage. Plus a driveway that can park 4-5 cars.

The rent is month to month and is only $1250. For this neighborhood it is a steal.

It is available starting Nov 1st.

Address: 4055 Jackson Ave. Culver City, CA 90232

Please email rachel if you are interested and she can put you in touch with the landlord. rachel@rachelthurston.com.

It is such a great spot and they wanted to give their friends firsts dibs. Pass the word around!!

you know, i wrote a big long post that was, to be honest, just venting about so many of my thoughts and emotions all in a nutshell of 3 paragraphs really, but all that really matters is that i'm happy...i'm happy because of the people in my life who love me for exactly who i am...and for that i am so happy and can't thank those people enough...life is good...

i know it will be great, but that comes with time right?

after all, what could be happier than the months during the year that it's football season? it really doesn't get a lot better than that...

{angus.mitchell} in salt lake city

had the opportunity at school to meet the son who keeps up the genius of a little guy we like to call paul.mitchell...

all of my beautiful friends and i with {julian} left and {angus.mitchell} right...

what happens in {vegas}....

so on account of all of the weird personalities i've been experiencing with myself lately, my friend constance and i thought it would be extremely appropriate, and more importantly a blast, if we went to vegas for the weekend...we were both in need of the best healing medicine on the planet, some serious sun!

i'm lucky enough to have the very best friends in the whole world, ashley and miles reynolds, who so kindly let us stay at their house for the weekend. the plan was to go down and stay with them and they try to sneak into a pool on the strip...however, we quickly realized that was impossible, so on a very spontaneous note, we got a room at mandalay bay for the night, and it was soooooo worth it! the pool was perfect and just what the doctor ordered....and i don't know how everyone else feels about the bellagio, but i could sit there for hours just to watch the fountains. it's the only peaceful thing about las vegas, the only thing that you can really just watch and nothing else around you distracts you....mmmm so nice....

i do have to say it was quite weird being on a trip without trev, for seriously the first time in a long time, but i couldn't have gone with a better friend! she was awesome and helped me keep my mind off of things....

and to top it all off, i got to talk to dana on the phone for like 2 hours on our drive back.....much needed weekend? i think so....

running {outside}...

so here's the honest truth...working out is like the hardest thing ever for me to do. i can't make myself enjoy it. i don't know what my problem is but i can't. the part that drives me crazy is jogging for what seems like forever on a darn treadmill.

so naturally, i blamed my shoes. so what did trev get me for my birthday? probably the best gift ever and most motivating, a gift card for new running shoes!

so now you may ask, how are these shoes ever going to be put to good use? well i figured out my main problem. the problem is i need to run places where i want to run...which means yes, i need to run outdoors where i can observe real things, not pace myself on a machine that i'd rather throw out the gigantic reflective window staring me back in the face as i do my pathetic runs...

my plan to run outside?...one 5K every weekend through October...can it be done? i am very confident and my first one is this saturday and i'm pretty freakin excited about it. so if you're one who hates to run, try running outside...it's already changing my perspective on the sport and i love it!

a special thank you to trevor, i truly would not have done this without you...i love you!

Birthdays...

as we approach the month of March, it always without fail makes me think about my birthday. of course that makes sense since that is the month that i was born, but it's so weird to think about how fast we get older.

last year, when i turned 20, i can honestly say that i felt different. i don't know how different i felt, but it was the kind of different where you still say your a year younger by accident (what some people might call denial, i call a reality check). that was a reality check and this year even more so...

21

some people might also say that this number shows no significance to those of us who choose to use our age for good, not evil, but it is a big step. you receive power from a number, and with power does come responsibility. the power of 21 is a power that a lot of people choose to not use responsibly, which we can only expect...what i want to know is why people desire this age so badly? when has anyone ever had to lie about their age to get in anywhere except to get the senior special on the early bird buffet?

it makes me think of everything that's going on in my life and where it's all going to go. i do have to say, that the past year has kind of been like a 'groundhog' day kind of year where i go to work, proceed to school, go to church, repeat process...of course in between the repetition there's been a lot of inconsistency in the boy scene, but that was made extremely consistent as well as of last November.

now i don't want to be too confusing because i don't want to come off as a complainer. i'm so happy with myself and my life and the way it's going, but at the same time i hate the feeling that it's not going anywhere. i know it is, i know it, but i can't help but think that it's just standing still in a sense.

i need a pick-me-up, an epiphany, a discussion, ANYTHING that would change this pattern that i seem to be living day by day. maybe it's my fault because it does seem like the only thing that i'm waiting around for it to change is my relationship, but that's a whole lot of reliability on another person and nothing that i can really control. i did shave my legs and that made me feel a whole lot better, but i need something different that i can look forward to, that can get me excited, and get me out of this lull/rut that i feel like i'm living in (i'm extremely open to suggestions by the way)...

i just want to figure out the significance of this number, because it's creeping up on me fast and it does make me feel a little weird, so it'll be interesting to see if anything happens i'd say...

i had to post this picture of the Jimas' twins first birthday...here's to 21 plus more you two!

Vancouver 2010

i love the time every four years when it's the winter olympics, once again. i love that no matter what i'm going to most likely enjoy having the tv on to watch them. i love most of all, that everyone turns into 'judges' if you will. well, we all turn into either self-proclaimed judges, or we decide that we have to get out and do these activities more since they make it look so easy and look like so much fun!

i hope everyone enjoys these olympics as much as i have so far, and that you all watch as much of them as you can...

(picture taken by rachel thurston)

For those of you that know me, know that i am obsessed with Rachel Thurston and her photo work. As she explained in her blog, she had a special opportunity to do some photo work with some of the U.S.A. athletes and their coaches which i found extremely cool! You can check out all of what she did and more details here...

www.rachelthurston.com/blog

i just wanted to add a little blurb about this incredible blog that i've been constantly stalking for about 2 years and have officially been following since the summer time and i am just so proud of her! i know she doesn't even know who i am but she is so talented!

rachel, it's about time you get this incredible website going! i'm so excited for you and can't congratulate you enough!

Now, as for the contest, i want this trip! and i don't necessarily feel the greatest about just "taking" this trip if i was chosen to win. Not that i wouldn't be forever grateful, but i have been extremely blessed in my life and i know that there are going to be many more people who respond to this that deserve it more than i do, but Rachel, you HAVE inspired me...

(both pictures in this blog are most obviously not mine, definitely Rachel's)

i have never been to Seattle before and i know this will sound lame, but i have been a loyal follower of Grey's Anatomy, and ever since then, i have wanted to live in Seattle. I have been to Vancouver once before and i absolutely loved everything about it! I love the weather, i love the constant cloud cover, and i love the atmosphere of a big city with so much going on. So my goal no matter what, SAVE UP and GO to Seattle! This would be a great trip and a fun experience and you truly have inspired me to just do it! of course, not many of us can just pick up and go on a vacation, me being one of those people, but i am going to start putting together a vacation fund so that when enough pay checks have added up, i can visit this intriguing place...

so when that day comes, i will need some guidance and will need to know where to go and what to see. it may not be for another 6-8 months, but since it's now a goal i know it will happen.

For all that want to participate in this Seattle giveway, make sure to follow this link to Rachel's new blog and get the details...TELL EVERYONE!!! and hopefully, we can make sure that one of us get's to go on this incredible trip...

rachel, if you read this, tell anna that allie petersen has been stalking you and says hi to her on her mission...she'll know who i am and tell her i think she's incredible for going! thanks...

Goodbye Jules...

I can't believe this day has come already. There are so many emotions i can't even describe. She is moving on and i am so proud of her, but i am going to miss this girl so much. The worst thing is, she probably had no idea what an amazing person she is and what an incredible impact she has made on so many aspects of my life. Not only in our incredibly deep conversations, but in the way that she radiates with so much self-confidence that only makes me want to be like her.

Jules Morrow started working at School Improvement Network (common theme with people i love you might start to notice) and from day one, i knew that we were going to get along. She is someone who you know is going to change you from the minute you start talking to her.

The thing is, you don't realize sometimes that she even has anything to do with the fact that you've changed, until you trace back to the exact moment where you knew that she was the one who did it.

Now, why would a person this amazing be leaving us? Well, good ol' uncle Gary's office hired her on the spot at their Johnson Family Dental office in Ventura, California and from then on, things fell almost scarily into place for her. She found an LDS family renting their basement and made the arrangements to move out 3 weeks from the time she took her vacation...crazy huh?

I know i talked about this earlier, about how this has always been my dream to just pick up and move to California and really figure out where my life was going, but letting that happed closer to the ocean and warm weather than i am here. But that wasn't the right thing for me. This is right for her! In fact, this is perfect for her!

The world needs to hear her music, and if this is how it's gonna start, than i say what better time than now?

I just want Jules to know how truly happy i am for her. I can't imagine any situation being better for her at this time in her life. I love her so much and she truly has changed me forever...

Bird & Banner

As everyone knows, i love things that people make by hand and through so much creativity and then sell them, and this website is just that. These two have made all different sorts of invitations (mostly wedding) and sold them for unreal prices. All of their orders are custom and they are incredible. Check them out though because they really are inspiring...

Who woulda' thought...

When i got my calling to teach the Valiant 10 class in the primary back in July, i didn't think there was going to be anything to it. I kept thinking what a piece of cake it would be, but quickly realized what a huge learning experience it was going to be...

I know they look super sweet and like they are little angels, which they are, but the equation of any 12 kids under the age of 12 is quite a challenge to say the least...


This picture is definitely a more accurate account of how they really are. They are almost always crazy almost all of the time. However, this last Sunday was our Primary Program and it truly was the most moving one i have ever attended. Now i can't decide whether or not it's because i'm their teacher or what, but there were 5 times that i can remember tearing up and hoping they didn't turn around and see me...

This calling has really helped me, not only with my patience, but with my scripture reading and always trying to have the spirit to help me know what these kids need from me. For some, it's just a friend, or an adult that gives them attention and listens to what they have to say. It truly has been one of my biggest blessings this year and i know if i told them this they would think i was such a baby, and they may never know how much i appreciate them, but i truly do more than they'll ever know...

Bailly + Andrea

This weekend, Bailly and Andrea are celebrating their 4th anniversary so i was honored to make a special gift that Bailly wanted to have made for her.

The original idea of the "coupon book" came from Ashley Hirschi who had me make one for her boyfriend. These books can be used as picture books as well, but i like to do them custom because then they can say whatever they want and we can do the exact colors to match the personality of the couple.

I'm not that great at scrapbooking compared to a lot of other Utah women, but i do love that i have a creative outlet where i can put my own personal touch and really make someone realize that a lot of work and love went into it...

I decided that i'm going to blog about all of these that i do so that i don't forget who and what i did them for, because truly, that's what's important!

These two are in love, and this was the perfect way to show it...

All good things must come to an end, but some things have the chance to just get better!

So i have to say that this camera has been the greatest thing since my first camera, which let's be honest, was not the greatest thing at all. Even at 7.1 megapixels it has taken so many pictures that it has actually worn out it's battery twice and needed to be replaced. So really i have one option, get a new camera!!!

I wanted to stay in the Canon family, however, i think that i've found the perfect one that isn't too professional for my everyday usage, but professional and legit enough to take quite the quality pictures and just be really great. I've been to the store and looked at it and it kinda just called out my name.

The one in the picture is actually the E-520 and the one i have been eying is the E-420 which is a hundred dollars cheaper and has all the same features. For those of you who are just dying to get it for me for Christmas, the link is enclosed in the title...

I'll go back this weekend and decide whether or not i can afford something like this, but i really love it and would love to have it with me at all times...

All because two people fell in love...

My parents just recently had their 26th wedding anniversary, so i just wanted to take a minute to say how amazing they really are and how much i love them. They truly are such an adorable couple and they mesh so well together. I'm sure a lot of people would question the truthfulness to that statement since they seem so entirely different, but as i've gotten older i've really began to notice how well they work together and how much they love each other...

My mom and i were never really very close, for a lot of reasons that mostly stem from my immaturity in dealing with our differences in opinions. Now, since i've moved back home, she and i get along better than i ever thought we could. She truly is such an amazing woman and i learn a lot from her. I know, however, that i still have a lot to learn from her, and whether or not she knows it, she still has a lot to teach me...

My dad and i have always had a very close relationship. If we have ever not gotten along, it's almost always been because of our lack of communication, or simply from his worry about the oldest growing up too fast. He talks to me about everything, whether i want to or not. This has been an incredible help to me growing up and has helped me to always remember that he genuinely does care about me and what i truly want to do in my life.


I know that we were all supposed to be a family and that there isn't anything that anyone could ever do to tear us apart, and that is thanks primarily to mom and dad for being our life preservers in the good and in the bad...

They have been through some really rough and some incredibly miraculous occasions together, and i can't tell them how grateful i am that they have raised us and lived their lives so that our family can be together forever.

You're the most incredible parents and i hope that someday i can be even half the parents you two have been.

Happy 26th Anniversary!!!